A local businessman took patriotism to new heights on Wednesday when he slayed his Russian housemate, suspecting he might be a spy for President Vladimir Putin.
This local hero, who has heretofore chosen to remain anonymous, began to suspect his housemate was working for Mister Putin after a stash of snacks went missing from underneath his bed on Monday night. On Tuesday the businessman formulated the idea that his housemate, who is of Russian origin, must be an operative hand picked by Putin himself to deprive Bath's businessmen of their favourite snacks, notably dark chocolate and cashew nuts.
Police announced the death today to Bath's media. The people of Bath immediately rejoiced as the threat to their snack food, though previously undetected, was decisively eliminated.
This Saturday Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will knight the man. who says he plans to share his identity at the ceremony and offer Her Majesty rescued corn crisps as a humble display of gratitude.
This local hero, who has heretofore chosen to remain anonymous, began to suspect his housemate was working for Mister Putin after a stash of snacks went missing from underneath his bed on Monday night. On Tuesday the businessman formulated the idea that his housemate, who is of Russian origin, must be an operative hand picked by Putin himself to deprive Bath's businessmen of their favourite snacks, notably dark chocolate and cashew nuts.Police announced the death today to Bath's media. The people of Bath immediately rejoiced as the threat to their snack food, though previously undetected, was decisively eliminated.
This Saturday Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will knight the man. who says he plans to share his identity at the ceremony and offer Her Majesty rescued corn crisps as a humble display of gratitude.
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